Grateful Through the Hard Times

It's been a while since I have updated on here or really talked about anything. Life is good. I am going to college at Utah State University and let me tell you this has been one of the biggest growing experiences of my lives. I have lost people, grown apart from old friends, made many new friends, and definitely learned that sometimes it is okay to feel alone in a room full of people. I have spent many nights on my bedroom floor in tears, but there won't be a day that goes by where you won't see a smile on my face. Life may get tough, and trust me mine is way different than it was when I first started college,  but the hard times are worth it all because that light will be there at the end of the tunnel and when I make it to the end of the tunnel oh how grateful I am going to be for the hard times that have only made me stronger. I have come to know my Savior throughout my many trials and many sleepless nights trying to figure out what the next step in my life is going to be and I have been reassured time after time that things are okay and they will all work out the way that they are supposed to. Going to college and making a whole new crowd of friends is hard because for a person who has many struggles, I want to find friends I know I can trust to let in, who I know won't treat me differently because of my trials. My trials do not define me, they only make me stronger but to tell a person and open up is to be completely vulnerable. I have found that group of friends, those people I can trust, who don't judge me because I am labeled as epileptic, who understand I can't go to all the parties because sometimes the strobe lights are just too much for me to handle. It has been a hard thing for me to not be able to participate in all that I want but it won't tear me down, because I have the strength to make it through each day because of my eternal friend and my savior. I have been blessed 100% to be where I am today and to know the people that I know. I have a wonderful support system in my life and I don't know where I would be without my family, friends, and Savior. I am so grateful that things don't always go the way I want them to because I have a friend watching over me that sees the bigger picture and knows what is best for me. I know that everyone in my life is here for a reason if that reason is to learn a lesson from them or to have a friend/confidant, I am grateful nonetheless for every single thing that has happened in my life that has led me to the place  I am today. Here's to a new year and another year of changes and growth. Forever grateful.

Life Is A Puzzle

The funny thing about life is when you are a kid you think that your life is going to go a certain way and it's all sunshine and rainbows everyday. The reality of that is its not. Life goes in all different directions and life really is like a roller coaster. You have your eyes set on one thing and the plan can change within a matter of days. If there is anything that I have learned more of this year is that plans don't always happen, they fall through. People change their minds, you change your mind. When I started applying for college I was so set on one college but when I saw the big majority of them my eyes were opened up and I may have stressed about it for a couple weeks but I finally made a decision and then don't get me started on when I had t decide my major. Life is like a big puzzle that you are always going to be trying to figure out, but sometimes you just have to take a step back and realize that piece doesn't fit there for a reason. Each person takes steps in their life that can change the course of their whole life and sometime that puzzle piece fits somewhere else you don't want it to because there is a reason you need to be where you are going to end up. Plans change and so do people. Take the bad days and try to find the good, every dark cloud eventually had sun shining behind it. The puzzle will fit together how it's supposed to.

Christmas Time

As each Christmas season comes and goes it gives you a time to remember what Christmas time is really about and why we celebrate this wonderful time of year. As I've gone about thinking about this subject and what makes it so special so many things have come to mind but the one thing that continues to come back is all of the sacrifices that our savior made for us. Each and every one of us. He bled from every pore in his body feeling our sins and sorrows. He suffered and even Jesus had a time where he didn't feel Heavenly Fathers presence in his life, saying "my god, my god why hast  thou forsaken me?" During this Christmas season how important it is to remember the sacrifices he has made for each and everyone of us. When you think that no one understands what you are going through, you are wrong, there is always going to be our Savior, and our friend who's been through it all and understands. He was perfect, yet he still knows what it is like, to feel our sorrows and sins, to have heavenly fathers presence gone. He knew that he was going to suffer hardships and he still agreed to come to this earth to accomplish our plan. How important it is to remember all of this, his birth and death it is all so important. Take the time to remember the true meaning of this special time of year. Christmas is a time of love, take advantage of the time you do have to spend with family and friends, and always make those around you feel the special joy and love of this season. 

There's a Plan For Us

I'm gonna be honest, high school isn't fun at all. I want to graduate. I'm ready to be done and I'm starting to fall into the trap of sleeping in almost everyday. I enjoy my performing arts classes, still am keeping all my grades B+ and above, so I always tell myself "your grades are good why go?" Update on my life from the last time: I got a job at Kohls which I actually just got the other day! I've applied at USU. and while at college day I had a really cool experience. So at the beginning of the day you choose 3 colleges you'd like to visit so I chose 1. USU (because it was my favorite and I thought I was dead set on that choice) 2. University of Utah (backup plan) 3. BYU (didn't want to go there at all, but went because I didn't have any where else to!) so while in the BYU presentation, a very powerful yet amazing feeling came over me, one that I don't get very often, an answer to my prayer. And I simply got this feeling of "apply to this school, you need to apply for this school" now, when I went into this presentation I really didn't want to go because -a) I thought I couldn't get in because I'm not smart enough and b) if I went there it would feel like mom and dad were still there giving me rules (not at all it's just basic lds rules I follow anyways!) and who knows if I will get in, but for some reason I need to apply. Who knows what the future holds for me. I can not wait to be at that point in my life, it is what is semi powering me through school. Although I am exhausted and stressed 99% of the time. God has a plan for us all, great things are in the works. Oh 226 days until graduation! Hopefully that flies by. Did I mention my wisdom teeth are coming in?

Life is Moving so Fast

A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks, those things being our first two performances as madrigals, tryouts/callbacks for the musical, the cast list being posted, our first theatre social, and homecoming. Now that isn't all in order of events but man it's gotten so crazy!! I've almost been in school for a whole month and it doesn't even feel like it! We've performed two times for madrigals once at the hello assembly and the other at the homecoming game, and I know I've said this before but I just love madrigals so much!! Singing is amazing and when I do it I feel so relaxed but then excited! Now the theatre social it was just an opening with all performing arts and I planned some games for everyone to get to know each other and go out of their comfort zone!! It was pretty good! Tryouts and callbacks oh man! So hectic but awesome they last a week, they have singing/acting auditions two days, then dance auditions, then post callbacks Thursday and the cast list is posted Friday. So I did pretty well at this try out this year, probably the best out of all 3 years! I got a callback for Aunt Eller the part I wanted so I was pretty excited to have just gotten to that point. I didn't end up getting the part but ended up getting ensemble with a name and a featured dancer (I don't think they know I can't dance! Eek!) So I get a few parts where I get to sing, I'm pretty excited!! 

Homecoming was this past Saturday and it was pretty fun, I got to go with Brenon! Through all of the plans not going to plan and me ordering a sale called "caprese" that ended up just being tomatoes, cheese, and dressing (hate tomatoes) it was all pretty great! 

Now on to this Thursday which is college day. Woah it makes it seem so much more real and so much more scary. I can start applying for college, scholarships, and financial aid. Craziness! Life keeps on moving at its own pace, sometimes faster than I want it to, but I'm sure ready for whatever life throws at me! 

Living Life With No Regrets

Ive been thinking a lot lately, about various amounts of things but one of the things that continues to always be a reoccurring thought is how people always say "I regret so many of the things  I did last year" and all I can ever think is why? Why do you regret it? I mean sure there are some things you do and you just want to forget they ever happened, but it's even those tiny small little things that can change your life, sometimes in a big way sometimes in a small way. But in the long run all of those "years you wish you could forget", mistakes, and simple things you've done have led you to the very spot you are in your life right now. Now maybe you think this doesn't apply to you because you are at a bad point in your life, you will overcome that bad point because you'll learn to see the better, and most trials well, they don't always last forever. So maybe this bad point in your life will lead you to the person you are in 5-10 years. Just remember one thing for me, don't regret, be proud of all of the things you've done, because every single or of those choices has led you to where you are today and the choices you continue to make will lead you to beautiful things in the future. Life will throw unexpected curveballs at you, that sometimes you don't want, but you'll overcome the "curveballs", the bad days, you'll overcome it all, and one day you'll look back and be glad that everything I your life happened the way it did. It was all leading you to a bright future. 

Making the Best Out of Everyday

I'm not gonna lie, lately it's been pretty tough just being happy. I'm not really sure why, no reason behind it.. I'll just have a wave of sadness come over me and I'll have no motivation to do anything. But if there's one thing I've learned in the past year it's that I need to never give up, I need to keep going through the good and the bad. I mean I love school! My classes are very enjoyable and I've actually gotten up on time every day! While I'm at school I've got my mind on other things, but then I get home and it's just frustration, stress, and a lack of motivation. It could be the fact that I'm still adjusting to school and I'm still trying to get my schedule to its normal ness. I don't know, but whatever it is I'm not going to let it affect me and I'm going to continue to put on a happy smile, and make my days good. I've got good family and friends all around me, and I've got the things I love too. So I'll find my happy place (even if it's looking at pictures of it,

cause I love to travel and I have an adventurous heart so occasionally I'll get on Pinterest and pin a bunch of places to go, and it makes me happy) and make the best out of today that I can :)